[PLAYING "HOUND DOG"]
One child, please.
Come on.
Hi, I'm Potsie.
How about you and me doing a slow bop
and then heading out for the submarine races?
Drop dead.
Maybe some other time.
Didn't wanna dance with you, huh?
- She wasn't my type. Let's split. - Okay.
- Hey, Bag. - Surprised to see you here.
I had a date with Carol Dronsky,
but she came down with the Asiatic flu.
So I came here looking for a replacement.
Hi, I'm Bag.
Wanna go to a Demon party?
I'd love to.
Hey, you guys, don't drink too much lemonade.
I wonder why a girl like that would go outwith Bag?
Are you kidding? She's not going with Bag, but a Demon.
You put on a Demon jacket and it's like date bait.
Yeah, I guess the girls think they're pretty cool.
Potsie Weber, date bait.
I'm telling you, Rich, we should try to join.
Potsie, you keep saying that, but...
Look, do you wanna be a nerd or a cool guy with the chicks?
I don't think they'd let us in.
They might if we had the right guy to recommend us.
Who?
Fonzie used to be a Demon.
What's up, baby?
Okay, this time. This time.
Hey. What's the matter? You don't love me anymore?
Didn't I just buy you new spark plugs, huh?
Don't you get the best oil, huh?
Wait, I'm sorry. Hey, I lost my head.
Hey, Fonz.
Hey.
How much do you weigh?
- One fifty-five? - Good. Get on.
Hey, hey, hey. I didn't say play Marlon Brando.
- Just jump on the starter. - Oh, sure, Fonz.
Fonzie, you were in the Demons, weren't you?
Yeah. Do it again.
As a matter of fact, keep doing it until I say stop.
Come here. What's up?
Well, we were thinking about trying to get into the Demons.
Man, why do you want to do something like that?
- They're a bunch of bananas. - The girls really seem to go for them.
You don't gotta be a Demon to get girls. Look at me.
Yeah, but, Fonzie, I mean, we're not as cool as you are.
- True. - We were wondering
if you'd help us get in.
Hey, it's one thing doing something stupid on your own,
but don't ask me to help.
Fonzie,
you're the only person who can help us get in to this club.
Well, seeing as how you got your little hearts set on it, all right.
- Thanks, Fonzie, really. - No sweat.
Hey, Fonz, could I ask one more favour?
- Sure. - Can I stop now?
- Yeah, don't knock yourself out. - Thanks.
- Hey, listen, thanks again, Fonzie. - Yeah.
Yeah.
Hey.
How much do you weigh?
Mom, Dad won't let me paint.
- Howard. - Well, Marion, she keeps putting 3's
on the number 2 space and now Blue Boy has yellow eyes.
It's her painting. If she wants him to have yellow eyes...
Gainsborough put those nice little 2's in his eyes for a reason.
- Mom, you have my Chinos ready? - All ready, dear.
- Great. Thanks. - You got a big night tonight, Richie?
Oh, uh, no, I'm just going to a meeting at the Demons' clubhouse.
The Demons?
Yeah. It's just this club that Potsie and I are trying to get into.
What kind of boys would belong to a club called the Demons?
They're just high school boys, Marion.
I hear they got a pretty stiff hazing. Of course, nothing like a college frat.
Richie, you use good sense.
Don't let them talk you into doing anything you don't wanna do.
I won't, Dad. I better get going. I don't wanna be late. See you.
All right, dear.
- All finished. - Good.
Now you put the 5's in the number 3 spaces.
Well, I used up all my 3's in the 1 spaces.
I'm going out and watch Milton Berle.
He wouldn't put a 3 in a 1 space. Not even for a laugh.
Your father is such a jokester.
MARION: Oh.
Well?
Very nice, dear.
Oh, great High Demon, the initiates are present.
Tribunal is ready to hear your petition.
Hey, uh, could we cut out the humbo-jumbo? I got a date.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Now, repeat after the High Demon.
Did I tell you to raise your hand yet?
Okay.
Now, raise your hand.
I do solemnly swear
never to reveal
what shall come to pass in this house, even on the penalty of death
or getting a knuckle sandwich.
- Do solemnly swear - Do solemnly swear
- never to reveal - never to reveal
- what shall come to pass... - Oh, yeah, to pass...
- in this room. In this house. - In this room... House... In this home.
[WHISTLING]
I think they got the drift.
- Yeah. - Okay, that was close enough.
Right.
You may be seated.
Who has brought forth these initiates?
Who do you think brought them here, Eisenhower?
Come on, Fonz.
Okay, okay, don't get yourself into tears here.
It is I, Demon Fonzarelli, who has brought forth these two guys.
Thank you, Fonz.
Richie Cunningham.
If you are accepted as a Demon,
what contributions can you make?
Well, uh...
I'm a hard worker
and I'm an honour student
and also a pretty good basketball player.
HIGH DEMON: That's thrilling.
That's wonderful. We always wanted a club dribbler.
HIGH DEMON: Potsie Weber. POTSIE: Yes, sir.
Potsie Weber? What kind of name is this?
Oh, well...
They call me Potsie because when I was a young boy
I used to like to make things with clay
- and one day mother called me Potsie. - I never knew that.
Oh, yeah, you know that lumpy ashtray in the living room...
- I know the one you're talking about. - I made it.
Can we discuss arts and crafts later?
Potsie, why should we let you be a Demon?
Well, as you can see, I'm a nice guy
and I know a lot of jokes.
Let's hear one.
Sure.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Sarah.
Sarah who?
Is there a doctor in the house?
[POTSIE LAUGHING]
HIGH DEMON: Oh, boy.
Was my joke that bad?
- Where'd they go? - To vote on you.
And I don't think it's gonna be a landslide.
Congratulations. You made it through the first step.
RICHIE: Oh, that's great. POTSIE: Oh, yeah.
Hey, when do we get our jackets?
You guys ain't full members yet.
First, we have to find out if you're really Demon material.
And there are about six little things you gotta do first.
What kind of little things?
Oh, we like to call them, the Deadly Dares.
Okay, you gotta make some phone calls.
You do this one.
Are you sure? I did this when I was in the seventh grade.
- Hiya, you gonna be long? - As long as it takes.
Hello, Olde English Tobacco Shoppe?
Do you have Prince Albert in a can?
- You let him out before he suffocates. - You let him out before he suffocates.
Now, do it just like we planned so nothing can go wrong.
RICHIE: Well...
Marsha, over here, quick!
[HORN HONKS]
Ah! Oh, help! Help!
Oh, it was horrible. I was attacked.
It was those kids. There must have been... 50 of them.
If we pull this off, we'll be legends in our own time.
Potsie, we can't tell anybody we did this.
All right, we'll be anonymous legends.
It's almost time. Mr. Crenshaw is always on time.
Five, four, three, two, one.
[BELL RINGING]
Boys, boys, no skating in the hall.
[KIDS LAUGHING]
Oh, look at that thing.
[ELEPHANT TRUMPETS]
MARION: Hey, this is neat. JOANIE: Mm-hm.
POTSIE: Hey, this is neat.
You ain't here to watch the pictures.
MARION: Oh.
BOTH [SINGING]: My country 'tis of thee
Sweet land of liberty
Of thee I sing
Hey, come on, stand up. You're Americans. Sing.
Stand up. Sing.
ALL". Land of the pilgrims' pride
- What's going on? - It's Richard and Potsie.
Hi, Richie. Hi, Potsie.
Let freedom ring
My country 'tis of thee
Just sit here, dear, and I'll get you some aspirin.
Well...
I'm sorry, Dad.
I don't know what gave me the headache:
Your singing or those giant lizards leaping at my throat.
I didn't mean to embarrass you, I...
I had no idea you'd be in there.
You know, they're making you and Potsie do some pretty silly things.
- I know. - Have you given any thought
to the idea that maybe it's not worth it?
It's just that girls seem to be so impressed
by guys who are in the Demons,
you know, and Potsie and I have gotten this far.
Yeah. It's your decision, Richard.
It just seems to me that girls who are impressed
by jackets with Demons written on it
might not be worth impressing.
Well, Dad, Potsie and I really wanna do this.
You do what you think is right.
Thanks, Dad.
It must have been a terrible experience, Miss Simms.
Oh, yeah.
There were lips all over me.
I only wish I could have caught those animals in the act.
Yeah, so do I.
By the way, you can call me Marsha.
I'm not sure that being a Demon is worth trying something like this.
Don't worry, Rich. When it's over, we'll laugh about it.
I really don't think I should go outwith you.
- Why not? - Well, we hardly know each other
and after everything that happened,
I don't want you to think I'm an easy date.
- Marsha, I respect you. - You do?
You were just a victim of juvenile delinquency.
Yeah, I guess so.
I've gotta get back to my beat. Here's the money for the soda.
- Police don't have to pay. - I'm an honest cop.
You won't see me sweating on TV in front of that Kefauver Committee.
Here's the money for the soda
and there's something extra for yourself.
Thank you.
What about tonight?
Sure. If you can't trust a policeman, who can you trust?
Right.
I'll see you tonight, ma'am.
I'll look forward to it.
MARSHA: Ah! Get off of me.
I knew it. All men are animals!
Well, you're doing pretty good. One more dare and you're in.
Yeah, well, it was pretty rough, but we can cut it.
Good. Because this next one is really gonna show
whether you're man enough to be a Demon.
MARION: These are your father's favourite cookies.
You want him to have some, don't you?
JOANIE: I'd rather give them to Stan McKinley.
MARION: There's your father.
- Good night, Dad. - Oh, good night, son.
JOANIE: I thought we were gonna make him cookies.
MARION: We can do both.
When I was little, I used to help my mother.
JOANIE: Did she tell you not to eat the raisins?
MARION: I've never liked raisins.
Now...
JOANIE: This is better than sewing, Mom.
MARION: See, you put two little raisins for eyes
and your gingerbread man's finished.
- Marion. JOANIE: Here's his belly button.
He doesn't need a belly button. Take your finger out of his tummy.
Mom and I made a gingerbread man.
- Isn't he beautiful? - Yes, and speaking of beautiful,
did you happen to notice our son?
And right now, I'm using the term loosely.
- Didn't he look cute? - Cute?
It took me almost an hour to get his make-up like that.
You mean to tell me that you helped him to go out looking like that?
Yes, dear, this is part of his initiation into the Demons.
Oh, when I was initiated into a club,
all I had to do was to swallow a few live goldfish.
You mean you ate those poor little things alive?
Joanie, we're not talking about goldfish now.
What we're talking about is, why my son is out there
walking the streets looking like Doris Day.
Ate those itty-bitty fish alive...
He has to go to the Sock Hop
and stay there until somebody dances with him.
Yeah, well, the way he looks, he's gonna be there
until he's an old lady.
Oh, dear, where are you going? We haven't finished yet.
I'm gonna go hide my goldfish.
[PLAYING "I'M ALL SHOOK UP"]
What took you so long?
Do you know how long it takes to put on mascara?
This is really embarrassing.
What could be worth all this, you know?
I'm embarrassed too.
How do you think I felt asking my sister to borrow mascara?
At least it'll all be over soon.
Oh, I hope so.
- This is really dumb. - Yeah.
[PLAYING SLOW ROMANTIC SONG]
Oh, brother.
Wallflower, let's dance.
[BLOWS]
Fonzie.
It's me. Richie.
See, this is all a part of the Demons' initiation.
I knew that.
I knew that all the time.
- You did? - Yeah.
I was just trying to help you out, you know what I mean?
- Hey, thanks. - Yeah, well, don't bother thanking me.
I mean, just beat it so that no one sees me
standing here talking to you, you know what I mean?
Hey.
Dance.
Don't ask.
- Well, now we're Demons. - And now we'll have the jackets.
- And the secret handshake. - And the girls.
Oh, yeah, the girls.
Man, I'm really happy.
Aren't you, Rich?
Oh, sure. I mean, we got it made.
- Oh, yeah. - Yeah.
[BOTH SIGH]
- What's the matter? - I'm not happy.
I don't even particularly like Bag or Hank.
Fonzie's right. All the Demons are bananas.
Why should we join a bunch of bananas?
- Who needs them? - Not us.
- You're right. - Right.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
- Hey, Rich. - Yeah?
- Now I'm happy. - Me too.
[KNOCKS ON DOOR]
RICHIE: Come on in, Dad.
Hi, fellas.
Well, how'd it go tonight?
Well, did you get somebody to dance with you?
- Yeah, Fonzie. - Fonzie, huh?
Of all the guys at the dance, you had to pick a dropout.
Come on, Dad.
Well, at least you're Demons now.
Well, that's what you wanted, wasn't it?
Well, we decided not to join, Mr. C.
You mean to say that you spent a whole week
making fools out of yourselves, and now you don't wanna join?
We just realised that any girls who were impressed
just because a guy had a Demon jacket on
wasn't really worth impressing.
Yeah. Makes sense. I wish I'd said that.
Well, I better be taking off.
I turn back into a Potsie at midnight.
- Good night. - See you later, Potsie.
- Well, hi, Joanie. - Hi, Potsie. Cute outfit.
- Thanks. - How come you guys are still up?
Private conversation, Joanie. Go on back to bed.
Dad thinks you look like Doris Day.
Joanie, bed, please.
But I think you look more like My Little Margie.
BOTH: Good night, Joanie.
Good night.
You know, I paid five dollars for this dress,
I sort of hate to just throw it out.
Why don't you save it? Maybe Joanie can wear it in a few years.
Wait a minute. I'm not wearing my brother's hand-me-downs.